Another "misplaced comma" special :)

As the holder of a B.A. in French who spent the last 18 years of her career editing 200+-page documents, I have something of an ear for language--and my "language ear" often conflicts with my musical ear.  You're welcome to do a search on this blog for "comma" to read other posts in this "series" and get an idea of what hurts my ear a bit.

Here's a gem that I just spotted on YouTube last spring.  These are the words:

Yi'h'yu l'ratzon imrei fi v'hegyon libi l'fanecha HaShem, tzuri v'goali.

Here's a translation:

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to You HaShem, my rock and my redeemer.

It might help if I posted a more literal translation:

May they be acceptable, the words of my heart and the meditation of my heart, before You Hashem, my rock and my redeemer.

Here's the way the baritone soloist sings it:

Yi'h'yu l'ratzon
imrei fi v'hegyon
libi l'fanecha
HaShem, tzuri v'goali.


May they be acceptable,
the words of my heart and the meditation of
my heart, before You
Hashem, my rock and my redeemer.

Yes, "l'ratzon" and "v'hegyon" rhyme, but it still sounds a bit weird, doesn't it?

Until you listen to the music--hear here.

Sounds nice, doesn't it?

It's another case of "composer's license"--the music wins every time.  :)


Here's the granddaddy of the "comma" series, my first post on this subject.

Praying on autopilot,&other language-maven laments

“It’s no wonder I can’t hear your “mem sofits”—when you turn around and davven (pray) facing the congregation, I can see that you don’t close your mouth. You can’t make an M sound without closing your mouth! You do that all the time—you don’t pronounce all of your sounds.”

[ ¶ ]

“Well, you know it all anyway.”

[ ¶ ]

“Whether or not I know it all is irrelevant—as shaliach tzibbur (representative of the congregation [in prayer]), your responsibility is to recite the prayers for those who don’t know them. If they haven’t heard every word clearly, have they fulfilled their prayer obligation by listening to you pray and saying "Amen" after every b'rachah (blessing)? As a baal tefillah (prayer leader), you have to know not only when to open your mouth, but when to close it, too.”

[ ¶ ]

Okay, okay, I’ll try to enunciate more clearly.”

[ ¶ ]

For the record, this is an ongoing discussion. (Sigh.) He’s so busy worrying about the music that he doesn’t pay sufficient attention to the words.

[ ¶ ]

He’s not the only one.

[ ¶ ]

“Why do you say it this way:

‘V’al kulam, yitbarach v’yitromam,

shimcha malkeinu, l’olam vaed.’

Don’t you pay any attention to what the words mean? Listen!

‘For all of these things, blessed and extolled,

be Your name our Sovereign, forever and ever.’

Why do you break up the phrase by putting a pause there?”

[ ¶ ]

“But that’s the way the nusach (traditional tune) goes!”

[ ¶ ]

“Then fiddle around with the nusach until it matches the meaning of the words. The music should follow the words, not the other way around! When you put a “comma” in the wrong place in a prayer, you sound like an am ha-aretz (Jewishly-ignorant person) who doesn’t understand the words. Not only does that put you in an embarrassing position, it also puts the synagogue in an embarrassing position because of kavod ha-tzibbur (the honor of the community). It’s less than ideal to have an am ha-aretz leading services.”

[ ¶ ]

I can’t help it—I'm a language maven ("maven = expert" in Yiddish, from "mavin," meaning "understand" in Hebrew). As a former foreign language major with a B.A. in French and a few semesters of Spanish under my belt, not to mention a year or two of Hebrew Ulpan, I tend to notice it when people are playing fast and lose with language.

[ ¶ ]

Mind you, my ear for languages has not always stood me in good stead.

[ ¶ ]

Many years ago, a co-worker accused me of being a racist because I’d imitated her West Indian accent. I had to explain to her that race had nothing to do with it—it’s just that, as an ex-foreign language major, imitating accents is what I do.

[ ¶ ]

My all-time winner, though, was the time I was having a conversation with my then-rabbi and didn’t realize, until the conversation was over and I’d walked away, that I’d been “echoing” his British accent right back at him. Oy, how mortifying. I hope he got over being annoyed eventually.

[ ¶ ]

[ ¶ ]

See also "Musical license,"* or the case of the misplaced comma--A different way of listening to words and More "misplaced commas" :).

More "misplaced commas" :)

Remember this post? I've come across a few more "misplaced commas"--pauses in the music of songs that break up phrases in the lyrics--since then.

Here's a quote from the aforementioned post that might serve as an illustration, not to mention a lead-in, for this one:

"Open your siddur to K'riat HaTorah, the Torah-Reading Service.

This quote (Eicha/The Book of Lamentation, chapter 5, verse 21) is the last thing that we sing at the end of this service before the Aron Kodesh/Holy "Ark" (in which the Torah scrolls are stored) is closed:

"Hashiveinu AdoShem
eilecha v'nashuvah"

Three of the tunes that I know for that passage in the Torah Service "break" in that same place.

Again, read the same passage in translation:
"Turn us, HaShem
to You and let us return" (Birnbaum Siddur's translation, more or less.)

As with a p'sik in a Torah reading, you have to stop there in the song."

On to the new--While we're on the subject of the songs sung during Hotzaat haTorah, the Torah Service (the "taking out" of the Torah), let's try this one from the beginning of that section:

"Ki v'cha
l'vad batachnu"

For in You
alone do we trust

Given the meaning of the words, that's an odd place for a "break" in the music.

But then again, as I said, when it comes to words, "language" people like me (BA in French) listen for meaning, whereas songwriters listen for sound.

Then there's the interesting "break" in the first paragraph of Birkat haMazon, the Grace After Meals. Check this out:

". . . u-v'tuvo hagadol, tamid lo chasar lanu v'al yachsar lanu mazon l'olam vaed

baavur sh'mo hagadol, ki hu Kel zan u-m'farneis lakol . . ."

Attempting my own translation:

" . . . and in His great goodness, never has He deprived us and never will He deprive us of food
for the sake of His great name, For He is the G-d who feeds and sustains all . . . "

Okay, I tipped my hand by capitalizing the word "For": Folks, once you put a "ki" in there, it's a given that you've started a new sentence or phrase. Clearly, "baavur sh'mo hagadol, for the sake of His great name" belongs with the previous sentence.

One of my all-time favorites for "breaks"--though this is a question of punctuation, not of music--is the second part of the prayer "Baruch Sheh-Amar, Praised is the One who spoke." Here's a classic case of "two Jews, three opinions"--the "breaks" fall all over the place.

Open in front of me are the following siddurim/prayer books:

• Hertz (copyright 1948, 16th printing 1979)--Orthodox
• Birnbaum (copyright 1949)--Orthodox
• ArtScroll Siddur Kol Yaakov Nusach Ashkenaz (copyright 1984 and 1990)--Orthodox
• Siddur Sim Shalom (1985 edition)--Conservative

I'm going to copy some of the words (with the ArtScroll translation, more or less, that being the most contemporary and, I hope, accurate of the four), showing you which punctuation is used in each book.

". . . m'shubach u-m'foar bil'shon chassidav va-avadav
. . . praised and glorified by the tongue of his devout ones and his servants
[ends with a comma in ArtScroll, Hertz; ends with a period in Birnbaum, Sim Shalom]

u-v'shirei David avdecha
and in the songs of David Your servant
(period in ArtScroll; comma in Hertz, Birnbaum; no punctuation in Sim Shalom]

N'halelcha HaShem Elokeinu bi-sh'vachot u-vi-z'mirot
We will laud You, HaShem/Lord our G-d in praises and songs . . .

We have here two different variations on the meaning of the words:

1) . . . .praised and glorified by the tongue of his devout ones and his servants, and in the songs of David Your servant. We will laud You, HaShem/Lord our G-d, in praises and songs . . .

2) . . . praised and glorified by the tongue of his devout ones and his servants. And in the songs of David Your servant we will laud You, HaShem/Lord our G-d. In praises and songs . . .

[Tangent: I was startled to see that Psalm 30, Mizmor, Shir Chanukat HaBayit, L'David, A Psalm, A Song for the Dedication of the House (Holy Temple), by/of/for/to (depending on your translation and/or belief) (King) David, does not appear at all in the Hertz Siddur between the Rabbi Yishmael quote from the Gemara and the prayer Baruch ShehAmar. I was even more startled to see that, according to Hertz--Rabbi Joseph Hertz was the late Chief Rabbi of the British Empire--the tallit and tefillin were to be put on just before Baruch ShehAmar. I also just noticed that, according to the ArtScroll's editors, one puts on a tallit and tefillin before even going to synagogue--Ma Tovu, recited upon entering the synagogue, appears later in this siddur. I am totally unacquainted with either of those minhagim/customs. In every synagogue that I've ever attended, tallit and tefillin were/are put on immediately upon entering the shul. However, my rabbi tells me that he saw men wearing tallit and tefillin on the way to synagogue in Jerusalem. Perhaps this is minhag Yerushalmi, the (a?) custom of Jerusalem.]
Ahem. Where was I before I so rudely interrupted myself? Oh, yes: Here's where I have fun. Check out the line just before the closing brachah/blessing:

Yachid, chei haolamim, melech m'shubach u-m'foar adei ad sh'mo hagadol.

ArtScroll translation: O Unique One, Life-giver of the worlds, King Whose great Name is eternally praised and glorified.

My translation: Only One, life of the worlds, king praised and glorified, forever is His name the Great One.

I rather like my translation.

"Musical license,"* or the case of the misplaced comma--A different way of listening to words

(*Well, if poets have poetic license, then what do songwriters have?)

I apologize to those of my readers who do not davven (pray) in accordance with Nusach Ashkenaz (the explanation is toward the middle of this page), but, particularly in this case, I can discuss only what I know reasonably well.

So, if you'll turn in your siddur (prayerbook) to Mi Chamocha in the Shacharit/Morning Service, I'm going to ask you not only to read the words but also to listen to them--that is, to the manner in which they're often sung in accordance with Nusach Ashkenaz.

"Shirah chadasha shibchu g'ulim |
l'shimcha al s'fat hayam . . ."

I know two different tunes for that quote, and both of them "break" in the same place.

Do you notice anything interesting about that "break?"

Try reading the same passage in translation:

"With a new song the redeemed praised |
Your name at the shore of the sea."

Yes, that's my own dubious translation, but it gets the point across: There's a "break" before the word(s--one word in Hebrew) "Your name."

Why? Does it make any sense in terms of the meaning of the words to put a "break" at that point?

Example number two:

Open your siddur to K'riat HaTorah, the Torah-Reading Service.

This quote (Eicha/The Book of Lamentation, chapter 5, verse 21) is the last thing that we sing at the end of this service before the Aron Kodesh/Holy "Ark" (in which the Torah scrolls are stored) is closed:

"Hashiveinu AdoShem |
eilecha v'nashuvah"

Three of the tunes that I know for that passage in the Torah Service "break" in that same place.

Again, read the same passage in translation:

"Turn us, HaShem |
to You and let us return" (Birnbaum Siddur's translation, more or less.)

As with a p'sik | in a Torah reading, you have to stop there in the song.

Are you beginning to see a pattern?

Here are two more examples, this time from Jewish rock music.

One is from the song "Modeh Ani," from Shlock Rock's Shirei Boker/Songs of the Morning CD. (I'd give credit to the composer, but there's no indication thereof on any of Shlock Rock's songs--I guess the group considers everything a collaborative effort.)

The other is also from the song "Modeh Ani," but from the version composed by Izzy Botnick, lead guitarist of the no-longer-extant band Kabbalah. The two bands have absolutely nothing in common, aside from having been known to share a bass player. :) (Scrolling from the bottom up, check out videos #1, 4, and 5. Then enjoy the rest. :) )

The prayer "Modeh Ani" is the first prayer recited upon awakening in the morning, and is not part of the Shacharit/Morning Service, so it can be found, in those siddurim in which it's included, right at the very beginning of the prayerbook.

Again, both of the above versions of "Modeh Ani" "break" in the same place:

Shehechezarta bi nishmati |
b'chemlah rabah emunatecha

"Who has restored my soul within me |
in pity great is His faithfulness"

What do any of the aforementioned "breaks" have to do with the meaning of the words?

Absolutely nothing.

(Have I mentioned, lately, that I have a Bachelor of Arts in French?)

But, on the other hand, all of those "breaks" fit the music perfectly.

Here's my theory: Songwriters don't listen to words in the same way that "language people" do.

"Language people" listen for meaning.

Songwriters listen for sound.

Winner and still champion: Aron Razel's "Shir HaMaalot" (listed and sold here as "We were joyful"). Truth to tell, I wasn't expecting this from a native speaker of Hebrew, so his song proves my point even more than do the liturgical songs that I mentioned above, which probably originated in Eastern or Central Europe, and even more than those two rock songs, both of which were written by Americans (to the best of my knowledge). This meshugeh/mad music mavin (expert) "breaks" not between phrases, but right smack in the middle of words! Repeatedly! He breaks the rules of not only this "language person," but also of this ex-choir singer!

And it works! His Shir HaMaalot is an absolutely wonderful song, even though, with the "breaks" in such crazy places, I'm still trying to learn it six months after having seen Aron Razel in live performance and bought the CD.

So this is my advice to "language people" (English and foreign-language majors and minors and degree-holders) and to choir singers: Put aside your preconceptions, and just enjoy!